I am sure some of you have thought extensively about your wedding day from the style of your dress, your hair, the flowers for your bouquet and even the location of the event since you were a little girl.
You know exactly who you would like to stand beside you as your bridesmaids. You can envision the style of the cake which has your favorite batter and icing. You have it all down to the table arrangements and even the party favors that will be held on for years to come.
Perhaps, you have even thought about your spouse and the qualities they would possess that will make you fall in love with them in the first place. You can picture the tears swelling in your eyes as you proclaim your love for your significant other before your family and your higher power during the personalized vows. It will be beautiful.
But have you ever thought about whether you would marry yourself if you had a chance?
I will be honest, I have never thought about it. It wasn’t until I watched an episode of R&B Divas Los Angeles (no judgment) that I realized the intensity of the question. It’s an opportunity to look at yourself on the outside in, really evaluate who you are as a person and understand that you have some room for improvement.
Most of our lives, we prepare to be someone’s wife, which is not necessarily a bad thing. We know exactly what qualities we’d like to possess in order to show our undying love for our husbands-to-be (or wifes-to-be).
But what if we begin to promise the same love we vow to give to our significant others to ourselves? Let’s begin to do that ladies.
During the show, Chante Moore asked the cast (Lil’Mo, Kelly Price, Michel’le, Claudette Ortiz, Dawn Robinson) what were their best qualities, their weaknesses and what would they vow to themselves. They literally married themselves in a Las Vegas chapel decked out in wedding dresses complete with a bouquet. We won’t do that here, but I will answer the questions and I hope you will too.
My Best Qualities: I am a great listener, friend, and supporter. I am a very nice, caring and nurturing person who is brutally honest in my relationship.
My Weaknesses: I am not always the most optimistic. I believe in everyone’s abilities to succeed except mine. I don’t always speak up for myself around others when I should. I can take things too personally and don’t always look at the big picture. I avoid conflicts at all cost , often times, losing significant people in my life because of it.
My Vows: I vow to love myself more than any man ever can. I vow to appreciate and understand my self-worth in all aspects of life. I vow to be more patient and stop putting a time limit on me. I vow to believe in myself with all my heart and know that I can be just as successful as the next person if I work hard. I vow to no longer minimize myself for someone else. I vow to forgive myself for not living out my dreams sooner. I vow to make more of an effort to trust others who are not my family. And I vow to constantly challenge and push myself to become the best person I can be.
I imagine when you get married, you don’t marry your significant other because they are perfect. You marry them because they are the perfect fit to your puzzle called life. And it’s not a deal breaker if they have some baggage. Out of love, you hope to lessen their burden and carry the load with them. You accept them for who they are knowing that being your true selves as a couple make you both better individuals. So, yes, I would marry myself.
Whether you do this exercise in the privacy of your home, at the office or even in the comments section below, what would you say? Would you marry yourself?