I have been feeling a little down lately. Unsure of myself more than usual and quite frankly, scared that I uprooted my whole life for nothing.
I explained this much to Channing telling her I just wasn’t sure anymore. I once felt so confident about wanting to write for a publication that taught people the art of cooking and eating.
Now, I wasn’t so sure.
Actually, that’s not it. I just want a new job. One that challenges me, excites me and doesn’t make me feel like it is killing a piece of me every day.
Knowingly, she explained that it was the approaching New Year making everyone anxious, herself included, in order to make it better than the current one.
I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that before.
The early mornings. The late nights. Constantly thinking of unique ways to sell myself to editors in cover letters.
All the while hoping (praying, really) that the business article I keep tucked in my rainbow-colored duct-taped presenter that holds my server book was right about December. That it was the best time to apply to jobs because jobseekers think the hiring process slows down and they are too preoccupied with the holidays.
I let this all go New Year’s Eve. That night, none of that matter. We were celebrating. And celebrate I did thanks to a friend who kept stealing my cup.
It wasn’t until the clock struck 12, the bubbly was popped, kisses were given and Channing wished me a Happy New Year that I realized, a year ago, this was all a dream.
All of this.
The fact that I was in my apartment filled with new and old friends. Just 15 minutes outside the city I once dreamed about. Cheering to the New Year and the possibilities of what’s yet to come.
I don’t know, maybe it’s my optimism for the New Year because I might not be where I want to be, but I am definitely closer than I was in 2013.
And that’s reason enough, in Biggie’s words, to “like the life I live ‘cause I went from negative to positive and it’s all good.”