Cracking The Confidence Code

20150227_070831Everybody knows men and women look at things differently. That’s not news.

Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” exposed me to the differences in the work place.

Through shacking (no judgment), I’ve learned that men, namely my love, can manage to push cleaning the apartment out of his mind until the weekend.

I, on the other hand, plan my day around what I need to clean and how much time I have left for writing or applying to jobs before going to work. And while I am at work, I am still listing things.

But I never thought about how gender impacts confidence. Although, I should have.

This is going to make him smile, but he is the most confident person I know. When I hesitate, he goes for it and I love and admire that. He is all about getting things done where I like to think (he would argue overthink) before I make my next move.

That was evident two weeks ago when I received an email about a temp job in the city that was starting immediately.

You guys already know about my struggles with my job. It’s not so much the job as it is knowing that I can and should be doing more.

As much as I have been dragging my feet to work each day, I hesitated. I wanted it, but so many questions began flooding my mind about the details, making me second guess the possibility. The main question was, could I fulfill all of the duties outlined in the bullets included in the email.

Nope. I wasn’t doing that.

When I say “that” I mean passing up an opportunity because I was overthinking it.

It immediately made me think about a story in The Confidence Code, a book that explores the contributing factors of confidence, how to become more confident, and how it differs between genders.

In it, journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, cite a study done by Hewlett Packard designed to figure out how to get more women into top management positions. The results: “Women working at HP applied for promotions only when they met 100 percent of the qualifications necessary for the job. The men were happy to apply when they thought they could meet 60 percent of the job requirements.”

Granted, the study was about promotions, but if I had gotten it, that’s what it would have felt like to me.

I decided to think less and take action, a technique that Kay and Shipman found boosts confidence. I found an updated resume on my phone, drafted an email and hit send.

While I was supposed to have the interview a week ago, the office’s pipes bursts and we had to reschedule for today. I am looking forward to utilizing more of the lessons in the book. As well as some others like the Wonder Woman stance, which is believed to increase testosterone levels making you feel more confident.

Wish me luck!

  • I think your Boo Thang is on to something and I think it’s with just assuming you can figure it out along the way. Let’s try it the “manly” way.