“For The Kids You Don’t Want”

DSCN0282I’m just going to come out and say it, I’ve never really liked kids until I became an aunt.

I never even considered having one (yes, just one) until things got serious with my love in college. And I am talking close to graduation.

I’d like to think that I am on the fence now. I can see myself as a mom now more than ever before. I even consider baby names when I hear something unique.

But see what happens is, ahem, every time someone asks me about having kids, my mouth says one thing and my face says another. That happened during a recent apartment viewing.

As the salesman discussed floor plans and amenities, he casually asked whether we had kids. My love calmly said no. I am sure I said no too, but I guess my face gave a more detailed answer.

“It’s so funny to see people’s reactions,” he said trying to hold back a laugh. “Some people are like not yet and others act like they are allergic.”

Allergic though?

I wouldn’t go that far. I just don’t know that I am there yet to have my own. Something my mom was recently surprised to learn. She thinks that will change. I am not so sure.

Quite frankly, I am struggling to take care of myself let alone another human being. Or, anything else that I have to care for like a pet, which was another question he asked as we stood in the kitchen of the model apartment.

“Your reaction was better for the pets than the kids.”

I have got to learn a poker face.

As for the apartment, it was everything we could want and more. It was five minutes outside of New York City. It had the most amazing panoramic views of New Jersey and New York City.  It was resort-like in the sense that if you wanted, you didn’t have to ever leave it for anything. I am talking basketball courts, a full gym, a movie theatre, outside park and a game room.

But rent was ridiculous so I’ll pass.

It also had a children’s activity room that made even me gush about its cuteness. At that point, it didn’t even matter.

Apparently, there is no turning back after making faces about having kids because the salesman quickly responded “for the kids you don’t want.”

Sheesh. I’ve learned my lesson.

Now about those poker lessons because if you know me in real life, you know how bad I need them.

  • I mean, I don’t know that it’s his place to say that you don’t want them. But I feel you, it’s a struggle to just trying to keep myself clothed and feed, Idk about doing it for someone else. I love, love this picture of Tracey with your niece. I bet you just melted.

    • I think he was joking, but it was weird hearing it. It really made me wonder what my face told him. But, yeah, it’s definitely a lot and I commend anyone our age who is making it work. It did. It really did! She was so calm about it.