In The Name Of Love

IMG_0996This is going to sound weird.

But.

As happy as I am to marry my love, up until I found my dress, I felt, well, really lonely.

It’s a very strange thing, I know.

It’s almost hard to write because I never expected to feel that way. Especially because everyone says it’s the happiest time in a woman’s life.

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And it’s not like I was unhappy.

I just…I don’t know if I was as happy as I should have been, if that makes sense.

When people asked if I was excited about one aspect or another, I remember saying I was excited because I didn’t want to rain on their parade. But in all honesty, I just wanted to mark things off my to-do list.

But attending the Great Bridal Expo changed everything for me.

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IMG_1024It was nice.

Really very nice getting to meet with the vendors. Talking about the products and services they offer. Ultimately, fantasizing about what my ceremony and reception is going to look like.

That was the best part.

That and the fashion show sponsored by David’s Bridal and Ultimate Sound Disc Jockeys. If I were getting married in the area, I’d definitely hire them. They really got the party started.

Also, because I work in customer service, I know how difficult it is to say the same thing over and over and the representatives were all so excited. You could see and hear it in their voice something my wedding entourage of one, Channing, mentioned. They really did make you feel like a very important bride, which is what the VIB sticker on my hand stands for.

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That day, might actually have been the first time in my engagement when I didn’t feel pressured to get something done. I was just there enjoying the process. Doing what I now see other brides do because I really thought it was going to be a small group.

As far as feeling lonely goes, it’s hard to feel that way when you are amongst hundreds maybe thousands of couples, brides and entourages all working towards the same goal. A perfect wedding day.

In many ways, it felt like a small movement of sorts and if it’s in the name of love, that’s a movement I can get behind.

  • I think this is so interesting how much pressure changes your idea of things. It’s like that episode of Sex and the City when Miranda gets her first sonogram and everyone is so excited and she tells Carrie she faked it because she couldn’t get it up, when really it just wasn’t her personality to be so extra. But when she did it her way, on her terms, she was able to appreciate it. I’m glad that you’re feeling comfortable and excited about the process (on your terms)

    • I remember that episode. Yup, it’s just like that. Like I wanted to be super excited like everyone else. I just didn’t have it in me. But I feel like I am finally getting there and that’s exciting.