Is it me or does self-care feel like a buzzword these days?
Don’t get me wrong, it has been a rough two years so ya girl, like you, needed a year worth of meditations. I needed to run to manage my anxiety. I needed the handful of bubble baths I took to soothe my heavy heart and body. And I needed good books to help me escape my reality. Top that with what seems like a never-ending pandemic and idk, I need more. Is it just me?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the way we present self-care to ourselves, family, friends and even audiences. I mean, if you were to look up the definition on Merriam-Webster, you know what you’d find? A one-line definition stating, “care for oneself.” Dassit.
Browse Instagram or Pinterest and there will be endless images of outward experiences. And as someone who is currently adding to those images, I get it.
But.
Shouldn’t self-care also be a mindset shift, too? I think so.
After the year I had in 2021, self-care has to be more. And dare I say it may require others? I know, I know that sounds contradictory so hear me out:
As a Black woman, I learned from an early age that to be strong is to carry everyone else’s burdens. And then, cry behind closed doors while secretly unraveling. It may not be recorded in a manual, but it is passed down through generations. And I’m tired. Aren’t you?
So, this year, I’m re-presenting what self-care means to me. Here’s How:
I Will Give Myself the Grace I Deserve
My eyes still well with tears every time I think about how others showed me grace in 2021. So, if they can give me grace, why would I rob myself of it? What in the world does that prove? I’m out here trying to make the best of my life like everybody else. And while everyone’s experiences are different, it doesn’t’ help to be self-deprecating. Tomorrow is always a new day and a new opportunity to try again.
If you agree, repeat after me:
I will give myself grace because I deserve it.
I Will Receive Help with Open Arms
My close friends know this best: I am quick to help, but slow to receive. I don’t know where that came from, but on too many occasions, my friends have made comments like “don’t be mad, but I did xyz for you.” After hearing that so often, I realized that others helping me made me uncomfortable. So, this year, I will receive all the help that I can get. I’m not going to attempt to be superwoman because frankly, I’m not built like that.
If you’re not superwoman either, repeat after me:
I will receive help with open arms because allowing others to care for me is a form of self-care.
I Will Choose Me
Around this time last year, I felt empty. I felt like I had nothing left to give anyone. And when I look back on the moment, I realize that it’s because I had been everything to everyone. I said yes to every “opportunity,” and I became that woman. You know, the woman who no matter what, she either has a story, solution, or will carry the load for you.
Except, I couldn’t.
I felt 100 percent depleted. One person in particular suffered because of it. I’m not proud of it, but I knew that I couldn’t be that person anymore. I knew that I couldn’t give of myself in that same way anymore. My mental health and stability were at risk. So, it was her or me. I chose me.
If you vow to choose yourself this year, repeat after me:
I will choose me time after time because I cannot be everything to everyone if I’m nothing to me.
