There I was.
Standing behind groups of women decked out in matching outfits including pink tutus and wigs and for a second, I forgot the reason I was there.
I forgot that I wanted to do the Shape Diva Dash as a way to push myself.
I forgot that I chose the October 11th date because it was five days after my 27th birthday and I wanted to kick this year off right.
Doing this 5K was about me.
It was for me.
And even though I considered not doing it when my friend said she was no longer coming up, I couldn’t think of a reason not to.
Oh, but I tried.
I thought about how cold it was going to be due to the rain in the forecast.
I thought about how nice it would be to just stay in and enjoy two consecutive days off of work.
And in true brown girl spirit, I thought about my hair.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel insecure about being what appeared to be the only woman doing it alone, but I was ready.
Channeling my inner Rihanna, I thought about the song that played as I walked up the stairs to the Tuxedo Ridge Ski Center.
“And it’s not even my birthday.”
“Im’a make you my *itch,” I began to sang along as I thought about the obstacle course ahead of me. Somehow that line seemed so fitting.
The horn sounded and I started with a light jog watching my steps along the pebbled road. I feared that I would twist my ankle before I got to really prove what I could do.
That is, until I realized that the benefit of doing it alone meant that I could go at my own pace picking up speed until my wind got the best of me.
Giving myself pep talks, I paid close attention to signs with powerful quotes along the course.
“Be strong, be confident, be you,” a woman named Patty yelled out as we got to the top of the hill.
My favorite was “If you don’t risk anything, you risk more.”
That one kept me going straight to the finish line, but not before getting emotional at the last obstacle. To be honest, I knew it was only a matter of time before I got choked up.
I started the race unsure of myself and my ability to complete it alone. While it would have been nice to do it with friends, it turns out, I didn’t need them as much as I originally thought.
Doing it alone forced me to believe in myself and trust my body.
And in doing that, I found my own strength.
