In September 2020, my love and I left the East Coast and drove across country to live in Texas. As you know, the pandemic was still in full force at that time. The country was also still at odds about the upcoming presidential election.
While those things were heavy on my heart, my main concern was whether I’d be able to make friends. I know, in the grand scheme of things it’s a small thing, but for as many times as we’ve moved, this was the farthest. There would no longer be weekend trips to Philly to see our families. Or a quick drive to the city to hang with friends. This time, we were on our own and if Texas was going to become our home, we needed a support system.
My love was lucky because we end up moving around the corner from one of his frat brothers. But I wanted friends of my own.
Within a year, I met women who are courageous and live boldly. They speak their truths without fear of judgement, which I love. From the very beginning, they checked me when necessary. And they make Texas feel like home.
Now, I realize how fortunate I am to have made friends so quickly. So, if you are new to a city and want to make friends too, here’s how to do it:
Share Your Story
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, your story is currency. Cash. It. In.
Here’s the thing:
The first friend I made in Dallas didn’t even live here yet. She read my birthday blog post about moving to Dallas and messaged me. She said that she’d been praying for a sign to know whether she should move. The next morning, my blog post popped into her email.
Y’all.
There is no way I would have known that if she didn’t tell me. The thought of it still blows my mind to this day. We met up in January, I let her borrow my address and she moved in April.
Socialize Off Social Media
I swear Bumble BFF owes me a check because I’ve been telling everybody how my friends met. So, after my friend moved to Dallas from Atlanta, she was smart enough to sign up for Bumble BFF. Apparently, it’s like Bumble but for platonic friendships.
Well, she matched with another woman who had moved that week from Los Angeles. And for safety reasons and more, my friend asked if I wanted to meet this new friend at the Dallas Farmer’s Market. Of course I did, so we all met by a Cruella movie poster. After intros, we did a lap around the market, ate tacos, sipped margs and became fast friends.
In November, my love and I hosted a Friendsgiving. Someone asked “so, how did y’all meet?” There were at least four connections through Bumble BFF, which is bonkers. It’s also a testament to the power of the platform AND that other people are looking for friends, too.
I would also encourage you to search Eventbrite for events that interest you in your new city. Groups like Dallas Black Bloggers use it to connect people through events. Years ago, I also used Meetup for Spanish-speaking opportunities in New York.
Say Something, Don’t Stare
I’m the type that if I like your hair or your outfit, you’re going to know because I’m going to say so.
Well, at an event, that’s how I met another friend. She had on this monochrome lime green outfit. She matched it with this small emerald snakeskin Gucci purse that was adorable.
I’ll admit, she did catch me staring. Don’t be like me. But I told her the reason I was staring is because I liked her outfit.
Before I knew it, we were talking about where we’re from, making friends in the city and exchanging numbers. I admit, that was a random encounter. My love and I decided last minute — that morning — to attend that event. And because I met her, my love and I was able to spend Thanksgiving with a family. No, it wasn’t our family, but when you’re this far from home, it feels good to be around a family.
Share Connections
This should go without saying, but don’t be stingy. Share the connections you’ve made. I can’t speak for every city, but Dallas is a city of transplants. So, everyone is in the same boat and want to meet new people.
For example, I met a woman at the pool. It was just me and her enjoying the water before sparking up a conversation. We found out that we’re both from Philly. She had just moved and wanted suggestions on restaurants. The first time I hung out with her, she met my girls and they loved her. My love and I have also gone out with her and her fiancé. The men got along so well, they’ve even hung out without us, the women.
So not only do I now have a new friend, but my love has a new friend, too. And recently, this couple introduced us to their friends, so our friend circle is growing.
