I recently read a quote that said, “anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” If you read my last post—and I hope you did—you know that I’ve been angry for some time. Every week there’s another murder of someone who looks like me or my husband and it hurts. It saddens me to my core. And there is no sense of fresh air or resolution given these murders keep happening. Everyone wants the Black community to believe that it’s out of their hands as if it’s a natural disaster. And it’s sickening. Absolutely disgusting.
So, yes, I am angry.
If you think about it, you’re filled with anger, too. It’s possible that you don’t know it yet. I didn’t realize I was angry in Mexico until my night took a HUGE turn. I end up sobbing uncontrollably in a woman’s arms that I didn’t even know yet. Also, and this might be TMI, but I almost ran out of my room in my birthday suit to give someone a piece of my mind. Thank goodness, my love stopped me.
But because I know that I am angry I’ve been adamant about finding ways to manage it. Here are five simple ways I’ve been managing my anger:
Meditation
I’m a firm believer that if you change the way you think, you will change who you become. My life and the woman I am today is proof of that. When I started believing, “something wonderful is going to happen,” my life changed. And it hasn’t been the same.
At first, I was meditating through videos on YouTube. But last year, I purchased the Calm App. It was one of the best purchases I ever made for $35 per year (not $69) because it was around Black Friday.
On most days—I’d be lying if I say every day—I listen to a Daily Calm session. Each session is about 10 minutes long and centers around a different topic. Recently, one of the topics was about anger and it brought me to tears. That’s the day I realized why I reacted the way I did in Mexico.
I also like the Mood Check-In feature, which allows to you to check-in with yourself using emojis. There’s also a text box where you can explain why you used the emoji for excited or stressed for example. For me, the Daily Calm session and Mood Check-In go hand and hand. I like to think of the Mood Check-In as a digital form of journaling.
I also recently discovered the Daily Gratitude feature, which I’m super excited about. In these difficult times, It’s so easy to focus on what’s wrong and all the negativity in the world. I’m hoping this feature will help me zoom out and find the silver linings of every day.
Running
If you think you’re not a runner, I feel you. I said the same thing, but when I started running, I felt free. I felt strong. I felt powerful and I began to trust my body in a way that I never did before. In my neighborhood park, I pushed myself—my body and mind included.
Much like meditating, running is a form of self-care for me. It is time for myself because when I’m running around the pond, the only thing I’m thinking about is the finish line. Oh, and maybe my pace.
Cooking
If you know me, you know that I love food. For a while, I was even a food writer and even though I was struggling, I was happy. That’s why on difficult days when there’s even more difficult news, I need to cook. And not anything. It has to be something with dough like homemade biscuits or bacon-fat tortillas for tacos.
There’s something so therapeutic about working with dough. You can punch, stretch, or mold it and still get something that is nourishing to your body. I love that. So, the next time you’re having a bad day, grab some flour.
Puzzles
More recently, I’ve been forcing myself to get off of my phone and social media. I can’t with the news and the never-ending trauma from everything on my timeline. I can’t and I refuse to consume that negativity.
A simple trick that has been helping is NOT taking my phone into the bathroom. I know, I know you don’t want to think about that. But if you’re anything like me, that’s where you do a LOT of mindless scrolling. So, I bought a jumbo word find puzzle book from the dollar store. Not only does it help keep my mind occupied, but it helps me rediscover words that I’d forgotten about and new words, too. As a writer, it’s a win-win.
Coloring
I can’t lie, there are days when none of those things work. There are times when I’m still boiling with anger and frustration. There are times when anxious energy surrounds me and I have a hard time releasing it.
On those days, I grab my coloring book and neon gel pens (thanks, Syd). I can’t explain it, but there is something about the images and focusing on the bigger picture that calms me. There’s been a handful of times when I didn’t want to talk to my husband after a bad day. When he came home, I was lying in bed with my coloring book and a glass of wine on my end table. That’s now become his sign to give me space.
Again, I can’t explain why coloring calms me, but it works. It makes me wonder why adults stop coloring in the first place.
