Can we get real for a second?
So, I know all social media pretty much suggests that life is just freakin’ awesome. And it is, most days. But some days, it’s not.
Some days, you can’t help but cry and it’s not because you want to cry. You just don’t know what else to do and in a weird way, it helps you get through the day.
Today was one of those days for me.
I know, I know, we don’t talk about things like that, but why not? It is a part of life and it’s interesting that it is almost more acceptable to seem okay than to be okay.
I started my day by checking emails and it stopped me in my tracks. I received the statement for my electric bill, which is my cheapest bill, but I realized that I probably had just enough in my account to cover this bill. And to pay my other bills, I would have to dip into my savings account. Again.
I have been dipping into my savings account all year and it’s not because I have bad spending habits. I coupon for crying out loud. I haven’t bought any clothes or shoes in months because I just can’t afford it. And I have made a point to brown bag my lunch.
Here’s the thing: I hate that I keep having to dip into my savings account, which is supposed to go towards buying my first car. The same car that I have been saving for more than a year. The same car that I don’t feel comfortable with buying because of my unstable job situation. The same car that I have been dreaming to buy since I graduated college in 2009. That car.
Some of you won’t understand this post and that is fine. Know that it’s not just about the car. It’s about making progress. It’s about achieving a goal that you set for yourself. And yet, you are still unable to achieve after nearly four years.
What’s the point of “working” if you are still unable to reach small milestones in your life? That is what I have been asking myself.
