I don’t know about you, but I’ve been waiting for the New Year just months into last year. If we’re being completely honest, which we are, 2018 broke me.
It broke my spirit. It destroyed everything I thought I knew about my life, about who I was, and who I wanted to become. Dare I say, it demolished everything I thought I was building with my love? And it shattered my heart so much that I lost the ability to feel. Even while dealing with the loss of the first man who not only loved me, but believed in me, my Pop Pop, I was numb.
And I was so angry.
Truth is, I’ve been angry for some time now, but I was the epitome of the angry black woman. I know, I know I shouldn’t give power to that stereotype, but we’re being honest, remember? Sis, I was e v e r y t h i n g we all try so hard not to become. I won’t deny that at the time, I reveled in it. I chopped down giants with words and oddly enough, I never felt more like myself. I’ve never felt so strong to own my thoughts, my words, and to fight for not only what I desire, but what I require.
It’s two weeks into 2019 and I’m still piecing not only my heart, but myself together. I’m still trying to find the courage to trust, to forgive, and to own the woman I’m becoming. I’m still exploring the beauty in my jagged edges. One thing for sure, I no longer feel the need to polish them to make others comfortable and that. is. freeing.
But.
In hindsight, if I’ve learned anything last year it’s that things need to break to be rebuilt. Reshaped, if you will. They say if it ain’t broke don’t fix it, but when your life feels like it’s in ruins, you’re forced to clean up the debris. So, this is my way of removing the boulders of brokeness to restore a stronger woman.
Maybe your 2018 was a lot like mine. Maybe you’re trying to prevent particles of last year from blowing into 2019. Even in my darkest hours, I’ve learned, there’s always a lesson.
Here are 20 lessons I learned in the year that stretched me past my limits, but showed me that I, like you, am strong enough to bounce back:
- When you believe “something wonderful is going to happen,” long enough, it will come true because magic is always hidden in plain sight.
- Your weakest moments will define (and redefine) what it means to be strong.
- To love someone is to give a piece of yourself. Work towards giving your best parts regardless of the season in your life.
- Trying something new doesn’t have to mean giving up. Just make sure you’re also giving in to your inner voice that whispers “keep trying.”
- Being backed into a corner places you in the perfect position for a breakthrough.
- It truly is always darkest before dawn.
- How people treat you has nothing to do with you. They’re working out their own demons and it’s up to you teach them how to treat you…even if that means walking away.
- Sometimes, self-care requires selfishness. No apology necessary.
- If you must choose, always choose yourself.
- Embrace everything that has happened in your life. It’s made you, you.
- Everything happens for a reason. Believe it or not, the universe is working in your favor. Allow it to do it’s work.
- Even shards of broken glass reflect sunlight. You too are worthy of sunshine so go out and find it.
- Actions speaks louder than words. You can tell someone who you are a million times, but when you show them, it is then (and only then) when they’ll believe you.
- It’s okay not to be okay even if that means taking a prescription to help you cope.
- Flexibility can change your trajectory. Always strive for a goal, but don’t let it limit you from other possibilities.
- Freedom is the ability to be, do, and choose based on your own understanding. May you have enough to be whoever you hope to become.
- All that we are arises with our thoughts. Change the way you think, change who you become.
- It benefits absolutely nobody hurting with a lipstick-painted smile.
- To survive is to let go.
- You are worthy. Period.
Long story short: I survived. And so will you regardless of what you’re going through. Tomorrow is not only a new day, but a new opportunity to become your true self…broken in all.
