That’s what I started calling last Friday’s post and today’s.
It’s interesting how I went from feeling like I didn’t have any time to write, to ensuring that I made time to do it. It didn’t matter that I had to wake up at 5:30 Thursday morning to write because I had some errands to run before my shift at 8 a.m. And it doesn’t matter that I set my alarm for an earlier time than usual this morning because I was having a serious case of brain farts and writer’s block last night.
I see how this blog and this challenge is helping me organize my thoughts and forcing me to intentionally search for a story every day. And I like it. I like it a lot because I am learning so much about myself. What I like, dislike and what makes me squirm and second-guess myself.
For the last two weeks or so, I have struggled with two things: How I feel about posting pictures of me and the fiancé and writing stories that affect me, but includes other people as well.
The first one is a preference choice I think. When I asked him how he felt about it, he said “I don’t mind, it makes me feel like a celebrity.” That’s such a typical response for him, but I am on the fence about it. I have posted two pictures of us on this blog and each time I struggled with it. I think part of it comes from knowing how the title “She’s Facing Freedom” came about.
When I decided on the name, I desperately wanted to obtain my own independence in every aspect of the word. I think I even told myself that I wouldn’t talk about him or anything, but that went out the door when when I wrote this post and I just continued because our lives are so intertwined.
Sometimes I feel like posting those pictures seem to contradict this blog’s name and I realize that quite a bit has changed since starting it, but it’s still hard. Yes, I want to highlight this new life and journey, but I also want to stay true to the basis of starting this blog as well. I can’t help but think that there are so many woman who feel that they kind of lost themselves in their relationships and wanted to figure out who they are. That was me. That still is so that is why I have a hard time with it.
The other issue is something that I thought about long and hard this morning. I just asked myself, “how would I feel?” How would I feel if someone something about me for the world to see? I guess it depend on what it is, but I know people are different so it’s a fine line. I plan asking myself that when stories arise that I am unsure of.
That’s all of my rants this week. Have a great weekend!
