There’s something empowering yet gripping about years that break you then rebuild you. For me, that was 2018. I’m so much stronger because of that year.
But.
I’d be lying if I said that that year didn’t have some negative side effects; that it didn’t expose areas of weakness.
If I’m being honest (and you know I am), 2019 was the year that I didn’t recognize myself. At times, I didn’t want to. I hurt people I loved unintentionally AND intentionally. I hurt them with my words, my actions, and yes, even my thoughts. The hardest part about 2019 is knowing that I hurt people I didn’t even know all in effort to heal myself.
I’m not proud of it. At all. One day, I hope that I will be able to live up to the standard of the woman I thought I was. For now, this version of myself will have to do.
So, who am I?
I’m a work in progress, but I’m excited about the possibility to evolve in 2020. This time, in a more positive manner.
To tell you the truth, 2019 wasn’t all bad. When I step back and review the year, I’m in awe of how much has changed. I’ve done, seen, lived, and loved more than I ever have before.
I’ve grown in ways I never expected. And I owe a lot of that growth to the parts of the year that I’d rather forget, but that’s life. Am I right?
This year, I vow to be kind to myself. No, I wasn’t the best version of myself last year, but I can will make up for it this year. My hope is that you, too, adopt that same kindness in the least favorable moments in your life.
Here are 20 wishes I have for you and myself in 2020:
- I wish you the ability to find limitless silver linings in your life.
- I wish your voice becomes the clearest among the sea of endless radio waves (read: opinions).
- I wish you time where self-care isn’t limited to a specific day of the week.
- I wish you moments of pure bliss leaving you no doubt that God is real because of the way he’s moving in you and the lives of your family and friends.
- I wish you the knowledge to know that pain is temporary. The lesson is everlasting.
- I wish you faith that you are rich beyond your wildest dreams because of the support system that surrounds you.
- I wish your idea of yourself and what you can accomplish is like technology – ever-evolving.
- I wish you tranquility so that nothing and nobody can rob you of your peace.
- I wish you the ability to recognize your fears and move forward anyway.
- I wish you resilience so that when life’s waves roll in you, you’re able to hold on to the sand, rocks, and seaweed in your life and prove that you can withstand the crash.
- I wish you an enduring – not perfect – love with yourself and your loved ones.
- I wish you an outlet to process your pain in an effort to heal yourself (and others) through it.
- I wish you the opportunity to be amazed by God’s wonders outside of your neighborhood, city and even country. And when the opportunity comes, the courage to say yes.
- I wish you the confidence to walk in your truth.
- I wish you the stamina to get back up more times than you are thrown to the ground.
- I wish you the patience to hold fast to your dreams especially when it feels like you’re not meant to accomplish it.
- On the cloudiest days, I wish you find joy in picking out the shapes of the clouds for no other reason except that you can.
- When your world feels like one big betrayal, I wish you find the courage to forgive others for your well-being. Not theirs.
- In times of anger, I wish you find several quiet nooks to calm your mind and spirit.
- This year, I wish that confidence and competence ooze out of you. You got this!
