When you have been in a relationship since you were a teenager like me, I guess you should be giving your boyfriend an ultimatum about getting married.
And I guess your biological clock should be ticking about having babies. But I am just not there yet.
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely want to get married one day, but the thought of it right now…I just can’t see it.
Call me selfish, but I am having a hard enough time figuring out my life without the hassle of trying to figure out what’s right for a family. And definitely not a child whose mind I am responsible for shaping.
Last year, when my brother was about to propose to his girlfriend, he sent me the picture of the ring via text. I showed it to my boyfriend and he said “oh, that’s from the Vera Wang Collection.”
“How does he know that,” I thought.
I stored the comment in my memory bank and did what any smart woman would do; I stopped myself from commenting and browsed the site the next day to see if he was right. He was.
I nearly messed my pants at the thought that he was about to propose to me. What made it so bad is it was about one month before our anniversary.
I was calling everyone trying to pump them for information. It was beyond nerve wrecking.
And lately, it seems that I can’t escape the questions about marriage and parenthood. It doesn’t matter if I am at my family’s event or at his family’s gatherings; the comments just keep coming like “you don’t want to wait too long.” What’s the rush?
I know a lot of women my age would think something is wrong with me. To some extent, I agree and it became clear to me at the vision board party when all the girls were pasting pictures of nice rings on their boards.
Since I never completed the board (I am compiling a book now), I worked on it Tuesday and cut out a gorgeous ring among other pictures and phrases that spoke to me.
Even though I didn’t paste anything, I believed that every image and every phrase had a place in my book – everything except that ring. I almost felt pressured to include it.
I thought that I should have it because of how long I have been in a relationship. Because we already live with each other so the next logical step would be marriage. Right?
That might be true in some people’s minds, but me, I am enjoying the single life (somewhat). I am always thrilled when I learn something new about my boyfriend. And I am even more excited that I am taking the opportunity to learn more about me and what I want out of life.
It took a while, but I am learning that all women should take the time to focus on themselves.
